Monday, April 28, 2014

"Love You Too"

My little boy resting in those early days.


(A reflection on the Last Supper that I wrote during Holy Week, an invitation to us all as we return again and again to that life-changing meal.)
 
It’s Holy Week and my littlest boy is sick. 

A fever struck early Monday morning.  Puffy-eyed and red-faced, he simply wilted, laying on my husband until the Ibuprophen kicked in.  For three days now it’s been the same, the rising heat, the wilting and the slow, steady relief of the Ibuprophen.

Three days, the pediatrician says, absent any other symptoms, give a fever three days to break and then if it doesn’t, bring him in. 

In the biblical world, three days is a symbol for the fullness of time – three days in the whale’s belly before deliverance, three days in the belly of the earth before the resurrection – and now, three days until the fever should break.

This boy is my busy one, never still, always working.  Carrying his ladder and tool box from room to room, he is a ‘lecic man (electric man) on the look-out always for something to be fixed.  Well on his way to three, the moments for cuddling have grown few and far between and, a wiser mama now, I appreciate these days of illness as moments to cherish.

In his weakness, he draws close, nestling in my lap like a bird tucked beneath my wing.  Silent and still, his check pressed against my breast, he rests.

//

Although translations differ, tradition recognizes John the Beloved disciple as the one who reclined, leaning against Jesus’ breast during the last supper.  Celtic tradition recognizes John as the one who listened to the heartbeat of God.  

John reclined, listening and watching the meal unfold against the backdrop, the melody, of God’s pulse.  His whole identity was redefined from that moment forward, no longer ‘John’ he was forever-more known as ‘the one whom Jesus loved.’  

//

“Love you too,” my little boy calls, as I prepare to leave his room each evening. 

“Love you too,” he presses, answering the love he knows before I can even voice those three words, “I love you.” 

Having lain against my breast, he responds to love before it is even spoken. ‘Love you too’ is the statement of one beloved, one who leaned and now lives against the backdrop, the melody, of love.

//

This week as my son rests, beloved, I am listening too and leaning.  

God’s heartbeat echos through the gospel stories, through the green grass greening, through fevered heads bowed and wet with perspiration.  Leaning, listening, I feel the invitation to stay here awhile, three days or more, while this song, this heartbeat forms me with its rhythm, redefining the heart of who I am.      

This post is linked with Playdates With God.

8 comments:

  1. Beautiful. I'm so glad I was your neighbor over at Playdates today. Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

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  2. Praying for your little man and the rest of you, too. This is lovely, Kelly, as always.

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    1. Thanks, Brandee. I did take him in that day and it was strep. so he's all better now. He and my husband both got it, but none of the rest of us. Thanks so much for stopping by :)

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  3. I remember holding you with your head on my shoulder sound asleep during Sunday evening services. That is as vivid memory as I have stored away. The gentle breathing of a sound sleep, the sweet smell of J&J Baby Powder and the warm comfort of a Sunday evening bible study. That ended abruptly when you started joining the other kids in the Nursery.

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    1. Thanks for sharing that memory, Dad. One to keep, for sure.

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  4. Oh, I felt the quiet holy in your words here today, Kelly. So, so lovely.

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    1. Thank you Laura. And thanks for your faithfulness in commenting on those who link-up. It means a lot. May you feel full with the steady pulse of God this day.

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