Friday, August 9, 2013

I'm Gonna Miss That Boy


Tomorrow, they turn two and two weeks later my big boy will head off to kindergarten. 

We walked last night through the spritzing rain and I held his hand with the always dry, cracking skin while my husband pushed the big wide stroller brimming with little brothers.  I thought about the way he and I walked so much when the twins were little.  We walked to survive, walked so we could, for one brief part of the day, face in the same direction, side-by-side.  He who wanted to go-go-go and chatted me up like a friendly salesman and I, ever the introvert overwhelmed by the sea of humanity that filled our tiny bungalo. 

I would push those boys along out in front of me and they sailed smooth like a boat on a glassy sea save for the hand of their brother resting on the stroller handle.  That pressure, that hand, irked me, but he held on relentlessly, his hand like an umbilical cord holding us together, two castaways stranded on the island of twins. 

And now I will walk him to school with his older sister and turn and walk home alone behind the double-wide, no hand to hold, no gentle pressure on the handle.

The other day, he said to me, casually, at lunch, "So, mama, how are you enjoying adulthood?" 

I'm going to miss that boy.  

This post is linked with Five Minute Friday.  Click on the link to read more posts on the prompt "lonely."

15 comments:

  1. I've got a year left before my little girl starts kindergarten and I'm already dreading it. It's amazing how I can long for the freedom of having only one child in the house every morning and yet not want it to come at all!

    I'll be praying for you!

    Great writing!

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    1. Yes, I think that's how so much of motherhood is - mixed emotions!

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  2. Such a sweet post. Your words drew a wonderful picture for me.

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  3. Great writing! Stopping by from Lisa-Jo's place. Be blessed:)

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  4. Brought tears to my eyes. They are all amazing children with fantastic parents. I am bringing an neat fossil with me tomorrow for Sophia and Solomon. Your writing is a gift to us all.

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    1. Thanks, Dad. He's been a challenge, but a huge blessing too, he's a great big brother, more than he knows.

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  5. Hi K! I am coming over from FMF.

    Where do these kids get these lines they come up with? Aren't they just amazing?

    What love you have for your children, because you can't be lonely unless you have loved first. Congratulations on launching your first into the world of school!

    So nice to have met you!
    Ceil

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  6. he sounds like a treasure. in just a few weeks i'll be taking my littlest off to begin her school adventure. she loves to fall asleep with her hands rubbing my face, gently. there have been times i could scream, feeling suffocating. but as she's getting older, she needs that less and less... i'm finding there are times now that i need it even more than she...

    the scary, sad, exciting, wonderful side of being a part of their becoming, isn't it?

    beautiful piece this lovely friday.

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    1. Thanks Richelle for stopping by. That's exactly it "times I could scream, feeling suffocated" and then, oh, the missing.

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  7. Visiting from FMF. Such a great post and glimpse of life. My little boy has one more year before kindergarten and I know that letting go will be tough on me.

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    1. Thanks Krista. I love the Five Minute Friday community, so much fun:)

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  8. Ahh, beautiful words. I can so relate to your walks of survival. I had three boys in three and a half years (no twins). I'm sending my older two to preschool for the first time starting on Wednesday. It's only twice a week and while I'm excited for a little quiet productivity with just the baby crawling and babbling at my feet, I know I will miss my other boys, too. Thanks for sharing a glimpse of your mama's heart and life. So encouraging to read.

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  9. Me too. My little guy starts kindergarten next week, and I miss him so much already.
    Your sweet words are a gift to me. Thanks for sharing!

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